Be Careful What You Wish For

As so often happens with my daily card pull, today's card from Mike Dooley's "Notes from the Universe on Abundance" deck got my wheels turning. I was thinking about the saying "be careful what you wish for" and the importance of being clear on what we want or need. I admit that I lean toward paranoia when it comes to blowing out my birthday candles and making a wish. For example, I don't wish for money. What if I got that money as a result of a serious accident, or one of my parents passed away and I inherited it?  I typically wish for "happiness and good health for myself and my loved ones."  That feels safe. 

I do believe that our thoughts and words have power. I do believe that if I obsess over something negative happening, it is more likely to happen. I have experienced it. Whether we are subconsciously making choices that lead us to that outcome, or there is some greater force at work, I can't say. I just know that, in my experience, the energy behind your thoughts and actions matter.

In January, I took a workshop on manifesting. The idea is that you figure out what you really want, and you put only positive energy toward it. The key is to be specific. You can't just say "I want financial freedom" and expect your bank account to triple overnight with no action on your part. That's not how it works. As with everything in life, there are no easy solutions. More importantly, what if financial freedom means you lose everything that weighs you down financially?  Or you come into a large amount of money, but suffer a terrible loss as a result? Sounds like my birthday wish conundrum, doesn't it?

A few years ago, a couple of people in my life were looking for their ideal partner. I asked each of them to make a list of the characteristics they wanted in a mate. I told them to be as specific as possible. A year ago, one of them started dating someone and I'll be darned if they didn't check every single item on their wish list! 

Today's card is a reminder to take a step back and evaluate what it is you think you want. Then drill down and get specific. Do you want a new job?  Or do you want a job that you can't wait to wake up to each day because it fills your soul and serves a bigger purpose, all while providing the salary you need to live a comfortable lifestyle?  Do you want a partner?  Or do you want a soul mate that makes you laugh and brings joy into your life?  It is worth the time and energy to make a detailed list of exactly what you want and what it will look like when you get it. After all, be careful what you wish for - because you just might get it.

Grieving

Grief is a strange thing. I've come to learn that there is no typical time frame for when it starts or ends.  I'm not even sure if it ever truly stops. Case in point: a picture popped up in my Facebook memories recently, and out of nowhere I broke into tears. I was caught off guard, but something I've been struggling with finally made sense.

The beauty on the right is my Auntie. She died two years ago. We were only 6 years apart in age, and in many ways, she was like a big sister to me. Among other things, we shared a love of the Seattle Seahawks. This picture was taken on January 18, 2015. We went away for the weekend to celebrate birthdays for my mom and my daughter at a local casino. While my mom and daughter played slot machines, Auntie and I watched the Seahawks clinch their Superbowl bid in a nail-biter of a game against the Green Bay Packers. We typically spent game days at our separate homes, texting each other frantically throughout the game. This was the only time that she and I watched a game together in person, and it will be a memory I will cherish forever. 

Like any good sports fan, Auntie and I had rituals that we lived by when it came to our beloved Seahawks. We participated in "Blue Fridays" - wearing Seahawks blue to support the team on what coach Pete Carroll likes to call "the day before the day before." We would text pictures to each other of what we were wearing or send a confirmatory text, "Are you repping Blue Friday?" On game day, Auntie would have a vanilla latte in the morning and a bowl of mixed nuts on hand during the game. She had a specific Seahawks t-shirt that she considered her "lucky t-shirt," so if we had a tough opponent that week, she would be sure to wear her "mean guy" shirt - a cartoon image of a Seahawks player with an angry face. Our team rarely makes it easy on their fans. Most games come down to the final minutes and involve a lot of taking the lead and then losing the lead. I developed a habit of plowing through a bag of sunflower seeds during the games, cracking shell after shell to save my fingernails and ease my anxiety. We would text each other before kickoff: 

Me: Are you wearing the mean guy shirt?  Got your latte and nuts close by?

Auntie: Yes!  Are you ready for kick-off?  Do you have your seeds?  

And this is how we would launch into every game. For the next 3 hours, we would be texting game commentary back and forth: "BAM BAM KAM!" and "Where's the O-line?" and the occasional "Shut the F* up" directed to the commentators. (Auntie was not a fan of many of the NFL commentators, but she particularly took aim at Cris Collinsworth, Joe Buck, and Troy Aikman, who she felt never gave the Seahawks the respect they deserved.)

On Sunday, October 28, 2018, the Seahawks were going up against the Detroit Lions with a 10 am start time. I sent my typical pre-game text a few minutes before kick-off. No response. I sent a comment following the first big play of the game. No response. I tried to call her. No answer. Something didn't feel right. I called my mom and asked if she had talked to my aunt, her baby sister, that morning. Mom said she had spoken to her the day before and that Auntie hadn't been feeling well. Mom had tried to convince her to go to the ER, but my aunt could be stubborn. My mom ended up calling my Auntie's son, who lived close by. He drove over to her house and had the unfortunate experience of discovering she had passed. We were all numb. 

A month later, family and friends gathered in their Seahawks gear to honor her life in the only way we knew how - watching the Seahawks overcome the Carolina Panthers with a field goal as the clock ran out.  The rest of that football season is a complete blur.

 

                                            Great turnout!                            My Auntie

My little family at the memorial

I dove into the 2019 football season "in her honor." I watched every game and had "conversations" with her and about her. I would yell at the commentators on my Auntie's behalf. I would say to my husband, "Auntie would have loved that play" or "I can hear my Auntie cussing all the way from heaven." I also joined a family fantasy football league, and the ability to banter with them over text each weekend helped to fill the massive void. The season didn't end well for the Seahawks, but, like many seasons before it, I felt hopeful about what would come.

And then COVID hit.

Lockdowns, delays, mandatory social distancing, and masks. Everything about 2020 was different, and football was no exception. As the 2020 season approached, I was having a difficult time summoning my enthusiasm for football. At the last minute, I backed out of the family fantasy league. Games started, and I found a million reasons not to watch them. 

I blamed my malaise on the stress of the global pandemic. My husband is immunocompromised and is in the high-risk category. We put ourselves into lockdown weeks before the rest of the world. While I have always worked from home, he transitioned to remote working in early March, which was an adjustment for both of us. Before COVID, we had rich and busy lives, filled with friends and family and travel. Everything came to a screeching halt. This is not unique to us. But for me, at least, the isolation and lack of busyness have allowed things that have been put on a back burner to come into the light. Things like grief. 

This is the puzzle piece that finally fell into place for me about why I have not been able to embrace football this year. It wasn't COVID. The pandemic contributed, but it wasn't the cause. The cause was grief.  I powered through the first season without her because that's what I do when I'm in crisis - push through, look for a quick solution to get me through the tough moment, and deal with the bigger feelings when the crisis is over. The pandemic provided the slowdown for me to finally process the loss of my Auntie. 

Ironically, after my meltdown over the Facebook memory, I was busying myself by doing some organizing (another strategy of mine to avoid the inevitable), and I came across a notebook where I had written a memorial to my aunt. My cousin had asked me to write up something to share at her memorial. It turned out that they didn't need me to speak, but I held on to the draft of what I had come up with. This is an excerpt:

I am honored to be asked to share a few thoughts about this special person. Daughter, sister, mother, aunt, grandmother, coworker, friend, I am sure everyone in this room knew a slightly different Annette.  The Auntie I knew was most proud of these 3 accomplishments: her 2 amazing children and, by extension, her 3 grandchildren; earning her college degree; and the fact that she had recently been named Seattle Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll's #1 fan on Facebook.  

My Auntie was an avid Husky football fan. She would have been overjoyed by the Apple Cup results this week.  She was a diehard Seahawks fan that never missed a game. After almost losing her 4 years ago, she and I developed a weekly routine of texting each other during Seahawks games. No matter how grim things looked, she never gave up on her team. When I moved to live streaming the games, there was a slight time delay. She would see plays before me, and she quickly learned to say things like "get ready" or "you won't believe it." She didn't want to spoil it for me.  The Auntie I knew was thoughtful like that. She was enthusiastic and loyal and supportive.

She could also be annoyingly controlling and negative and strong-willed. She liked things her way. Sometimes her stubbornness drove me crazy. But she had a smile that could light up a room. She had a great sense of humor and an infectious laugh. While she sometimes struggled to express it, she loved deeply. This is the Annette I was lucky enough to know, and I will miss her terribly. 

I recently read an article on the topic of grief, "That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief."  While it primarily focuses on the grief many are feeling as a result of the pandemic, it provides excellent advice for moving through grief, starting with identifying it and then learning to accept it.  The author states, "Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies." 

The 2020 Seahawks season wrapped up recently.  I didn't watch a single Seahawks game. I still can't believe it.  I have no idea how I will feel when the 2021 season starts in August, but I am hopeful that finally identifying and addressing my grief will help me to move forward with my heart and eyes open. 

It's All About Me

I ran into a colleague I haven't seen in a long time at a conference I attended for my professional association a few weeks ago. She has dropped over 100 pounds. She had some questions for me about the industry we share and I had questions for her about her successful weight loss, so we sat down to catch up. She shared some concepts with me that I have heard from other people that have managed to drop a significant amount of weight and keep it off.

• To be successful, you have to get to the point where you are doing it FOR YOU and not for anyone else.

• At the core of it all - it really isn't about the food. To maintain success, you are committing to a healthier lifestyle.

I have a very busy life: a full-time job, a wonderfully supportive husband, 3 amazing children, 2 dogs, a great niece that I help babysit a few days a week, a handful of committees I volunteer on, a couple of pleasurable hobbies that offer a creative or educational outlet, and an array of close friends and family that help to round out my life. There are very few quiet moments. Very few opportunities for peaceful reflection. Rare chances to do absolutely nothing without feeling guilty.

Did I mention I am a caretaker? A rescuer? A co-dependent? I suffer from "savior syndrome." I'm a fixer. I have trouble setting boundaries and using the word "no."

It can be flattering to have people valuing your opinion or wanting your advice. It can feel good to be "needed" or relied upon. But there comes a time when what I really need is time for me. Uninterrupted, quiet, guilt-free time alone. Time to do what I want to do. All of this care taking gets overwhelming.

So back to my friend's advice - To be successful, you have to get to the point where you are doing it FOR YOU and not for anyone else.

I love walking. I love the solitude of walking laps around the junior high track by our house - just me and my headset. It's a bonus that it happens to be as good for my heart as it is for my soul. So after talking with my colleague at the conference a few weeks ago, I made a commitment to myself to start each and every day with a walk FOR ME. My time. It will send a positive message to me that I am worth it. That I matter. If I can set an alarm to get up for a conference call or to take a friend to the airport or accompany a kid to an appointment, why can't I set an alarm to get up and spend the first part of each day doing something I love and something that is good for me? I can, I will, and I have!

I have walked every morning for the past 15 days straight. My goal is 2 miles or 30 minutes minimum every day. So far I have logged just a little over 40 miles. Some days I push myself to make the minimum, other days I easily double it. But I'm sticking to it - and the message is getting through. I deserve this time to myself. It's not selfish. Taking care of myself can feel just as good as taking care of someone else. Thank you, Lois, for helping me see that.

GOOD READ: The Road of Lost Innocence

I just finished reading a heart-breaking yet inspiring book called "The Road of Lost Innocence," by Somaly Mam. The author tells the story of her childhood as a sex slave in Cambodia with gut-wrenching candor. Somaly Mam has taken her horrible experiences and turned them into a driving passion to save others from a similar fate. She founded a Cambodia-based organization(AFESIP)a decade ago that exists to rescue victims of the sex trade industry from brothels. Her organization works with law enforcement to conduct raids, provides the victims with safe housing, teaches them to read and write, and trains them in a marketable trade like tailoring, agriculture and cosmetology. She has also opened a US-based nonprofit organization called the Somaly Mam Foundation with the same fundamental goals.

I am embarrassed to admit that prior to reading this book I was very naive about the human trafficking epidemic that is running rampant both at home and abroad. Human trafficking has become the second largest organized crime in the world, even surpassing drug trafficking. Somewhere between 2 and 4 million women and children will be sold into prostitution in the next 12 months - some of these victims as young as 5 years old. Cultural factors, poverty, illiteracy, and corruption all contribute to this growing industry.

I dare you to read this book and not be haunted by its message. Somaly Mam is a heroine in every aspect of the word. She survived horrific circumstances in her early life and yet she is truly making a difference in thousands of women's lives. There is no "woe is me" in her vocabulary! The world would be a better place if we had more of her kind around.

I urge you to purchase a copy of her book "The Road of Lost Innocence" and then tell all your friends. A portion of the proceeds are donated to the Somaly Mam Foundation and go to further her efforts on behalf of the victims of human trafficking. You might also visit www.somaly.org. There are opportunities to get involved, donate money, or purchase items that help to support the foundation.

Deciphering Medical Dictation

In my roles as an educator and a mentor in the medical transcription industry for the past 9+ years, I have assisted a lot of new transcriptionists along their journey to become productive MTs. One of the most common issues new MTs have is hearing all of the words being dictated. Today I had a student who is studying for her RMT exam write to me for advice on how to fill in blanks and not miss the little words being dictated. The following is my proven method for tackling both problems at once.

1. Listen through the dictation the first time and transcribe everything you can easily hear. Leave blanks for anything you aren't sure of. (Feel free to leave yourself "sounds like" clues in your blanks.)

2. Read through what you transcribed WITHOUT THE VOICE FILE. Correct any obvious grammar and/or spelling errors. Read the report like you would a story - connecting the dots in your mind and making sense of what you are reading. You may be able to fill in some blanks this way.

3. Go back over the dictation a third time - this time listening to the voice file and stopping on your blanks. Don't spend more than 5 minutes per blank. If you're struggling to make out a word, try writing it down phonetically. Then try pronouncing it out loud by putting the emphasis on different syllabus. For example, you hear what sounds like "eye-bip-row-fin." Say it the first time out loud emphasizing the first syllable: EYE-bip-row-fin. Then: eye-BIP-row-fin. Then: eye-bip-ROW-fin, etc. Then try running some of the syllables together: eye-biprow-fin. Or eyebip-rowfin. In the case of this example, hopefully you will eventually hear "ibuprofen."

4. Go over the transcription one last time without the voice file - again reading out loud and trying to understand the story being told.

5. If you end up having to submit the report with blanks, it is imperative that you go back over the report when your instructor or QA person completes it. If you have the opportunity to listen again to the voice file, I highly recommend it. This way you start to make the connection between what you are hearing and what belongs in those elusive blanks.

Learning to decipher medical-ese is like learning any other foreign language. You can't just learn the words using flash cards - you have to hear the words used in "conversation" to truly grasp the language. You will find that there are certain phrases that you hear over and over again: well-developed, well-nourished; no wheezes, rales, or rhonchi; alert and oriented x3. Over time you will almost be able to predict what is being dictated next. And that's when you know you've arrived!

The truth is, you can master anything that you spend valuable time practicing. The only way to master the language of medicine is by repeatedly being exposed to it. Watch medical shows on TV, listen to medical podcasts online, and concentrate when you sit down to the keyboard to do your work - whether for an instructor or your employer. At the end of the day, always aim to do your best. Treat every medical record you work on as if it was your own.

I LOVE: Teavana Teas

A great friend introduced me to Teavana Teas last Christmas when she gave me the 16 ounce Perfect Tea Maker and a bag of Rooibos Sweet Amore tea as a gift. I have been a tea drinker for as long as a I can remember - raised on hot tea with a little bit of sugar or a dash of milk, maybe the occasional cup of Market Spice Tea (made at Pike Place Market in Seattle), or a tall glass of iced tea on a hot day. I have never been a fan of traditional herbal teas, though. Until now... Teavana has opened my eyes!

A trip to a Teavana retail store is an adventure for the senses. Loose leaf teas are arranged by category in colorful tins lining a large bookshelf - white teas, green teas, oolong teas, black, pu-erh, herbal, rooibos, mate, decaf, organic, and blooming teas - each with dozens of individual flavors to choose from. (Check out Teavana.com and click on "virtual tea wall" to see what I mean!) The employees are standing by to help you pick the perfect tea and will spend as much time as you need pulling down these large tins and allowing you to enjoy the different aromas. They are extremely knowledgeable about the health benefits and caffeine content of each of their teas, and can make excellent suggestions about ways to combine them to create your own custom blends to maximize both flavor and health benefits (I'm currently a fan of a custom blend to help with digestion and weight loss made with monkey-picked oolong, strawberry slender pu-erh, mate lemon blast, and imperial acai blueberry.)

If seeing and smelling aren't good enough, there are always free samples of both hot and cold custom blends to tantalize your taste buds. It's a great way to try something new without having to spend a penny. If you find something you like, you can order a drink to go from their beverage bar. Or purchase a bag of loose leaf to take home.

Loose leaf teas are sold by the ounce, so you can buy as little or as much as you like. They package them in foil-lined bags to preserve the flavors - or you can purchase metal tins to extend the shelf life (and they look great lined up in your cupboards at home). They even sell a variety of pretty tins to match your every mood.

On a rainy day in Seattle, there is nothing better than a hot cup of tea and a good book. Which is exactly what I'm planning to do now.

Woman to Cycle Across America in Support of Military Spouses

This is from an organization I have worked with to help bring military spouses into the medical transcription industry. A very dedicated group of individuals with a noble cause.

Operation Life Transformed
For Immediate Release


Riding Across America for our military
HeadQuarters - WoodBridge, Virgina- June 19, 2009
Jeannie Benton, a 51 year old female from Bedford, NH, has chosen to seek pledges for Operation Life Transformed by pursuing her first cross country bike ride endeavor exceeding 3600 miles.

A dream that has sat at idle over 12 years to ride across America is becoming unveiled over the next 6 ½ weeks. Jeannie Benton, a 32 year resident of Bedford, NH, believed she would ride the distance one day, but she wanted to do it with purpose. It was at the health club about 12 years ago when she started getting involved in spinning and strength training classes that she realized her ability for endurance on the bike. Jeannie began doing one-day cycling events for fun and for charities and it was then that she started to dream about the idea of riding across America! She is a special education, Para Professional and mom of four grown children. Her ride will start June 21st from Astoria Oregon and will end on August 10th in Portsmouth, NH totaling 3625 miles across the Northern United States.

Operation Life Transformed, established in February of 2007, provides access to flexible accredited online certification programs that lead directly to virtual or portable career placement. These services are offered to military spouses and caregivers of the war wounded. We can also extend our assistance to the military sponsor including; active duty, reserve, National Guard and Veteran service members who have unmet needs due to injury, physical/mental disorders or deployment as a result of service in Iraq or Afghanistan. OLT is expecting to see over 200 students graduate with full job placement by August of 2009. In 2008, over 86% of all monies donated went directly to OLT’s program.
Please join us as we she embarks on her journey across America in support of our military spouses and caregivers of the war wounded around the world!

Learn more: http://www.operationlifetransformed.org/ra.html

Follow Jeannie’s Ride: http://twitter.com/LifeTransformed

Contacts: Operation Life Transformed
Jay Brethen, Grant Development and Fundraising 619-884-0518
Kristina Saul, National Outreach Program Manager 770-445-5286