Friday, October 27, 2006

5-1/2 Months and Limping

I can't believe how the time has been flying by since I was given the approval to drive and walk without my boot. I made a successful business trip to Denver earlier this month without incident. My ankle still swells up if I spend too much time on it. It still aches first thing in the morning and is stiff. But I am not nearly as handicapped as I was just 2 short months ago. That's progress.

I'm dealing with the physical reminders of the accident, but what really surprises me are the emotional issues I still have. When I went to board the plane out of Seattle to Denver this month, I was almost afraid to walk down the jetway. I walked very gingerly, holding onto the hand rail and taking small baby steps the entire length of the walkway. I'm sure the people behind me were annoyed - but I didn't care. Once while I was at my conference in Denver, I was carrying 2 cups of coffee, one in each hand, and walking down a carpeted hallway that had a slight decline to it. I had this terrible image of my ankle giving out and had to stop to calm myself down before continuing down the hallway. Any time that I walk down a ramp of any kind I feel like I'm back in the moment of the accident in May. I can picture my heel sliding forward and my ankle rolling. I relive it over and over again. I wonder how long I will continue to have these flashbacks? I wonder if other people who have had similar experiences also have flashbacks. Is this post traumatic stress disorder??

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